It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Christmas is here! There’s really no comparison for the joy and good feelings the holiday season brings out in people. I’ve noticed it more so than ever this year. Maybe because I’m paying more attention to it, or maybe because people are jollier than ever, maybe because I’m trying to be more positive, who knows. Either way, I love it. Closing a shitty year on a more positive note is welcomed with open arms.
2018 sucked and I spent way too much time letting the darkness win.
As Christmas has approached I’ve found it easier to find the light. This is the first Christmas since Melissa died that I haven’t been filled with dread. I am more happy than sad. I have been able to enjoy our celebrations without an overwhelming heavy feeling.
Grief is still there and I’ve broken down a few times, but that was inevitable. Grief doesn’t give you a holiday. Instead it usually crashes down harder than ever during the moments that should be happiest. Sometimes it’s hard to predict when, where and how hard grief will hit.
Maybe for you it hasn’t hit and you’re wondering when it will. Maybe it hit harder than you were expecting and you don’t know how to handle it.
However you’re dealing, grieving, or not, I see you. I get you. My wish for you this Christmas season is a wish for patience and grace:
I wish you patience as your grief comes and goes, sometimes without warning.
I wish you patience in understanding that it won’t always be this hard.
I wish you patience with those who may say or do the wrong thing, or do nothing at all.
I wish you grace for the moments when you want to fall apart but instead choose to keep it all together.
I wish for grace for those around you when you choose to fall apart instead of keeping it all together.
I wish grace for those around you who don’t understand grief and won’t know what to say or do.
I wish you grace for the moments you just can’t handle.
If you are missing a piece of your heart this year please take care of yourself and know that however you’re dealing or not dealing is ok.
If someone you know is missing a piece of their heart, letting them know you’re thinking of them is the greatest gift you can give! And it’s free!
*The echoes and silence, patience and grace
And all of these moments I’ll never replace
Fear of my heart absence of faith
All I want, is to be home
All I want, is to be home
People I’ve loved, have no regrets
Some might remember, some might forget
Some of them livin’, some of them dead
All I want, is to be home
*Home by Foo Fighters
Check it out on YouTube – It’s not from their official site, but it’s a great video that captures the raw emotion this song evokes.
Firefly Beat 