Today you would be two. The day started like any other birthday day in our house – I got up and made birthday pancakes because birthdays deserve pancakes. This year we coloured them purple. We even made some with chocolate chips because chocolate makes most everything better. They were delicious, but my heart didn’t feel better.
I hope they have pancakes in Heaven.
Today you would be two. My phone has been lighting up with messages to remind me it’s your birthday, not that I need a reminder. But these are not the happy birthday Melissa messages I should be receiving. These are messages wishing us love and strength to get us through the day. Each one bringing me to tears, but I am thankful for each one. I am thankful to know that people still remember you.
I hope you read them along with me.
Today you would be two. There is no cake. It isn’t fair. Birthdays deserve cake. 2 year olds deserve fun coloured cake with lots and lots of sprinkles. I should be worrying about how long the sugar high will last and not worrying about whether I’m going to break down when I go to order ice cream because we decided we will always celebrate your birthday with ice cream. I’ll make sure your big sister gets extra sprinkles.
I hope they have sprinkles in Heaven, every kind of sprinkle there is.
Today you would be two. I didn’t get to see your excited face when you came down the stairs and saw lots of balloons, balloons just for you. I didn’t get to throw my arms around you, give you a giant kiss on the cheek and tell you how much I love you. Instead I dusted your little pink box, gave it a hug and kiss, and cried.
I hope you feel my hugs and kisses in Heaven.
If only I could build a stairway to Heaven.
If only I could visit Heaven for just one day.
Happy Birthday sweet girl
*And it feels
And it feels like
Heaven’s so far away
And it feels
Yeah it feels like
The world has grown cold
Now that you’ve gone away
*Gone Away by The Offspring
Firefly Beat 