Have you noticed how different you treat yourself versus those around you?
If you’re like me, you try to support and lift up those around you, but are so harsh on yourself, even when it comes to the same situations.
Recently I had one of those “a-ha” moments when it really hit me how mean I can be to myself. Being so hard on myself was beating down my confidence and taking a serious toll on my overall happiness. The only one in control of that was me and that needed to change. When I first thought about how much harsher I judged myself, I started noticing it more and how natural it came. It became even clearer when I started asking myself what I would say to someone else…
New Job – I started a new job a while back and was getting down on myself and thought about throwing in the towel because I wasn’t picking everything up right away.
What I told myself: I was no good. I would probably get fired because I didn’t know what I was doing. I was a fraud and would never figure out what I want to do with my life.
What I would tell a friend: You can’t compare yourself to your colleagues who have been doing this for years. It’s only been a few months and look how much you’ve learned already. Celebrate the wins you’ve made so far. Believe the positive feedback.
Parenting – Sometimes I worry I’m not good enough and my kids deserve more than what they get from me.
What I told myself: I’m not present enough when I’m with them. I’m too short-tempered; I don’t do enough; I should feed them healthier foods than I do.
What I would tell a friend: They are fed and clothed, and they like the choices they have and feeding a picky kid sucks. Kids are great at pushing buttons, especially when they sense stress. The kids are happy, look at how they look at you – they love you. Take time for yourself, you need and deserve it!
Body image – No matter what I do or where I am this will always be a tough one.
What I tell myself: I will never look good enough. Stop being so lazy. Stop letting emotions control what/how I eat. How did I let myself get so fat and lazy.
What I would tell a friend: Don’t let yesterday dictate today. Celebrate every win, no matter how small. Don’t expect results instantly. How can I support you? You’re beautiful, even when you don’t feel like you are.
It’s so easy to genuinely react in such a positive way when I hear friends talk negatively about themselves, so why is it so hard to react the same way with myself?
I’ve been working really hard at treating myself better. It’s working. I feel much happier when I’m not so critical of myself. I’m finally starting to believe the things other people tell me. I have more moments when I look in the mirror and don’t fixate on all the things that need fixing.
While there is always room for improvement, I am finally starting to feel like I am enough. All it took was asking myself “what would you say to a friend in this moment?”
*So can we break this mold
And set in motion something new
Forgetting what we know
An evolution overdue
Fight the current
Pull the ripcord
Are we not good enough?
Are we not brave enough?
To become something greater
Than the violence in our nature?
Are we not good, good enough?
*The Violence by Rise Against
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